If you weren’t at the Reuben Williams show on Saturday, you missed:

-An Emergency Room where even your ridiculously bloody back injury won’t get admitted if you have blood on your paperwork.

-A morning zoo DJ who intros every song by describing the melody.

-A bartender who knows every horrible thing about his customers just by looking at them.

-A grandmother with new boobs who gets hit on by very creepy strangers.

-A bunch of unemployed people from Jersey tailgating in the parking lot of a new Best Buy.  Unfortunately they die in a gunfight just as Bruce Springsteen is landing a rocket ship in the lot.