…was last night at Deno’s Party House.  It’s by far the worst bar I’ve ever been to.  You feel vaguely dirty and unhealthy just walking in the door.  It’s overpriced.  It smells like cleaning products.  And the bartenders are all in bikinis - which is just very, very, very sad.

This website for Deno’s is clearly all a lie.

But these reviews are amazing:

“So in short, if you like a bar where you can stare at vaguely attractive women in bikinis, feel threatened the entire time you are in there, and possibly pick up one of the bartenders or barflies for some pocket change…head to Deno’s.”

“The house bikinis (?) are not always matching or necessarily a good fit: I’d love to see the girls getting ready for their shift in the back room (I know, it’s creepy in what I find alluring and cool)… A shady place but a good vibe.”

“Deno’s has Samuel Adams on tap, an empty shot chiller machine and Russian bartendresses in bikinis behind the bar. Were they there against their will? Is Deno’s a cover for a Russian white-slavery/prostitution ring? Let your conspiracy fantasies run wild here.”