This letter actually came in the mail.  All weird grammar, punctuation, and word choices are verbatim.


Mr. King

My name is STRANGER and I am currently a student at UCB training center.  I could go on about my experience but I will not, Ill just invite you to my next student show DATE at TIME.  I NEED and want an audition with a Harold team.  I cannot afford to take classes and travel back and forth to NYC as I have been doing I just need to perform, my style is never going to change I just need to perform with a proper team.  If you show up the DATE I promise, you will not be disappointed.

I am asking you to consider my performance on the DATE my audition for my audition for a Harold team.  Please consider, I be the big crazy Irish guy you won’t miss me.

I am worth more to the company as a performer than a student.

Thank you for considering my request
STRANGER


This STRANGER took his last class in 2005. He starts 201 later this week.